Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I smell stomach acid.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
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