I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
