I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
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