can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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