Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
