I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
