you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
