You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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