I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
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As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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