Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
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Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
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Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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