wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
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