I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
