That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
