So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
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