Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I have fence marks all over my body
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
