What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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