Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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