id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
