You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
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i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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