I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
