How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Randomize
