her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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