and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
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I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
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You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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