Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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