youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
