just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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