if i can run in heels then i can drive
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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