Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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