Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
she peed on how many people?
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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