FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
