dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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