What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
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