all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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