and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
