We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
