I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
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