I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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