Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Randomize
