i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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