so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
