I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Randomize
