drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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