she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
people are starting to question the shark bite story
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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