I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
