somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
