Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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