is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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