Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
