Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
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she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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