K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
