We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
