I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Randomize
