well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
