You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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